Sometimes as we look back on things, we realize that our younger self would have never known what was in store. The future I had planned for myself was so different than what it is at this moment. So, I wanted to write a post about what I would tell my younger self. I hope you enjoy this letter.
Dear 17-year-old Stephanie,
As you are reading this, you may think arrogantly that this is not the way life will pan out for you. You are such a hardheaded person. But there are some things that you need to hear.
Stop worrying about if you are good enough, you always will be. Those who don’t see this don’t deserve to be in your life. You are going to meet your soulmate soon and he will be the best thing God has ever given you. There are hardships within this but try to look past them and realize that the only thing that matters is your love for him. You will wake up every morning so thankful that he is in your life. As for college, stop boasting about going away forever. College isn’t what you think it will be but this is okay, you will learn more about yourself here. Keep your head up high and remember that most of the problems you will face are only temporary. You will go home a lot, and you probably feel lonely but I swear this feeling won’t last forever. For that carefree feeling you have, this will wash away. You will wish for more simpler times when you get to where I am now. So enjoy every moment.
You are going to lose your best friend for a little bit as well. These times will be very tough on you but you have to be strong. No one will understand the pain you are going through but try your best to realize she is going through pain too. Be forgiving. You will both reconnect after a long while but things will be back to normal with time.
You will never again be the person you are right now. Bask in this sunlight and enjoy this part of you because I promise you’ll miss it. I don’t think this part of who you are is lost forever, it will always be deep inside of you but you will change. I haven’t determined if this change is for the better or worse but I am hopeful about the future at this moment. You will worry a lot, some of this anxiety will be crippling and when you go through it you will know what I am talking about. Just know that it all works out in the end. It will be okay, just trust yourself. You are a lot smarter than you realize, so don’t let failures push you down. You’ve worked hard to get where you are, so get on your feet and keep on fighting.
At some point you will come in contact with some selfish and malicious people, and you need to understand that not everyone has the same heart as you do. You are a unique breed of person, don’t let them affect you because in the large aspect of things you will always be the better and bigger person.
You will amount to great things. It might be hard for you to trust fate and not try and plan out the next 50 years (yes I know you), but I promise you that everything will fall beautifully into place. You have an amazing life, in hard times it may be difficult to see this but I hope that you remember this letter when you do. Make sure you kiss and hug everyone as much as you can, this will be important later on.
Be kind to yourself.
– Love, 21-year-old Stephanie Russell